It's a goofy synthetic shell you shove down your pants to make your package appear larger than it is

Not the worst, but certainly the most creative: The Hot Dog Snow Mobile. Like the name says, it's a snowmobile made from a hot dog. The recipe features cottage cheese (for the snow), cheese spread (for hair and flames), and pretzels (playing the part of the steering wheel). Joe Kita, one of our editors, fetched this from his mom's recipe box. You should see what she does with fish sticks.
Worst fashion statement
The Bulge. It's a goofy synthetic shell you shove down your pants to make your package appear larger than it is. Great for Speedos, spandex shorts, underwear, and pants. Save the 20 bucks and stuff a sock in it.
Were tired of...
Cargo pants
Coffee as religion
Nicolas Cage and dumbass action movies
The flood of bogus herbal workout supplements
Thinking about the stock market
Talking about the Web
Hearing about Viagra
Hot-air balloonists
Size does matter."
South Park
People who still believe soccer will catch on in America
Beanie Babies
Ben Affleck
SCARIEST SEX DEVICE ON THE PLANET
Even the name is scary. The Eroscillator is a mechanical aid developed to "help women achieve faster, more intense orgasms." lit comes with four interchangeable heads--all of which look like they came straight out of Alien Resurrection. This device, which operates at 3,600 oscillations per minute, is recommended by Dr. Ruth Westheimer, who also operates at 3,600 oscillations per minute.
OFFICE STUFF
Coolly intimidating: An office chair made of antlers, from Crystal Farm.
Ominously intimidating: The Anytimer executive organizer. The top half appears to be an appointment book, complete with binder and pen. Beneath it is a foam insert, shaped to hold a handgun. Makes a real impression at year-end reviews!
Stupid: Billed as a "silent business partner," the MotivAider is an electronic device that vibrates as often as once a minute to remind you to "take action, so you follow through like you've never done before." It reminds you to stay focused, praise employees, and avoid injuries. It also reminds you that you spent S 5 bucks on something really stupid.
More Stuff to Worry About
Vibration-induced white finger. It's a disorder linked to "hand-transmitted vibration." From now on we're cutting back to three times a week.
Cuddling a kitty could give you an ulcer. In a recent report, doctors described a man who had 10 stomach ulcers caused by an animal strain of bacteria. One genetic sequence of the bacterium was 100 percent identical to that found in his cat. This may also explain his compulsion to bury his doo-doo in the sandbox.
Some Disneyland employees can wear their theme-park suits to and from work. How can we give Mickey the finger if he cuts us off?
TV violence is bad. But is it as bad as the TV itself? Two studies document injuries sustained by kids when large TVs fell on them. Parents, take your kids to the park; Frisbees are easier to catch.
Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus is no longer just a book. It's now a magazine, too.
It may really be over when the fat lady sings. Listening to opera while driving can kill you, according to Britain's Royal Automobile Club, which claims that listening to "Ride of the Valkyries" can stir up a driver's emotions and lead to accidents. The only thing worse: listening to those ads for Ensure.
Cocaine use may be even more dangerous on hot days, say doctors. Is that why all the young actors are moving to Anchorage? yanzic0617.

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